Wrestling with God

Over the last 2 years or so, I've met quite a few people who place a significant marker in their lives at the point where they began to understand and accept God's sovereignty in salvation. Did God choose me to believe in him completely apart from my own actions and decisions? Yes. It's offensive on every level, especially to an American. But there's something divinely powerful about a person's yielding to God over issues of predestination and irresistible grace. And it's always a wrestling match, like Jacob wrestling with God. I've yet to meet a person who has truly wrestled with these issues and not been blessed. Humbled like Jacob, but blessed. Humility is one of the greatest gifts that God can give to a man or woman, and one of the greatest joys for a person to receive and experience. What is more humbling than to realize that God chose me to be His before I did anything good or bad? Wasn't I wise enough to accept the offer of salvation when I heard it? Nope. That wisdom was not mine, it was a gift from God.

The difference that I've seen is in people who have truly wrestled with this truth. Many For many years I simply rejected it out of hand. I refused to interact with the Bible over the issue. Part of me thought it was just academic - a fun question for people to ask and speculate about. At the same time, part of me was offended at the idea that some people might be elect and some not. I thought that God would be unjust to elect some people and not others.

There are a lot of questions, mostly philosophical in nature, that can be raised in objection to the doctrine of predestination. I believe that these questions have answers, but that's not my point. My point is the fight. Becoming a Christian is not an easy process. But for many, like myself, for whom it seems as though it was easy, the fight simply comes later on down the road of faith. For me it looked like this, two years ago: on my hands and knees for many mornings in a row, asking God why I could not be joyful in my faith. Why, after asking for many mornings would God not grant this to me? Why can I do nothing to change this situation? How is this fair!? My faith, it seemed, was too small; but then how could I ask for more faith if my very prayers were faithless? After several weeks, God graciously opened my eyes to see that my situation was a drama for the process of salvation. And my conclusion had been correct: I stand completely and utterly at the mercy of God.

I would love to ask any Christian, if I had the opportunity, if they've wrestled with Scripture over God's sovereignty (The book of John is a good place to start). The issue is not periphery, it's at the heart of the gospel. How sinful do you think that you are? What did Jesus mean when he said, "No one is good but God alone." If believing in Christ is "good", then how can a bad person ever do such a good thing? In fact, the best thing!? God is Lord over all things which he created. It's in the very nature of who he is as God to rule over all that he has made, and he will not give this glory to another, certainly not to us.